filling holes

Ok, Why after 7 boys do I finally get a girl who is worse than all of them at certain things. Today my 2 year old princess shoved a popcorn kernel up her nose. None of the boys ever swallowed any foreign objects but the girl... she has to shove something up her nose. I don't get it. I can handle boys. They are predictable (sometimes considered stupid) but that is so easy to deal with. If you ever wonder what is next just think of something dumb and "presto" one of them will do it. Also, they are terrible liars which makes it very easy to figure out "who did it" The one thing you will never get out of a boy... So just don't bother asking... is, WHY. Why does a girl do things like that? I think it is because she is smarter and more creative. It is very difficult to understand for me. But she will actually tell you why she did it or at least make up a very believable lie. Thankfully my wife was able to retrieve the lost seed without blood or tears. I had to leave the room. This brings me to the question of how I handle stressful situations with the kids, ie: emergencies. With the boys it was easy. When one of them cut a hole in their ear roller blading... I tied a tourniquet around their head and it was fine. The key is to not panic. When one of them cut their head open on the couch and required stitches at 3, I did not panic. I almost panicked at the language he was spouting at the medical staff in the ER. Well, when I was ducking out of the room to hide the embarrassed laughter. He really gave that doctor an earful and it took three nursed to hold him down. I have strong kids and he is one of the toughest. I did not panic when a strange kid blasted another one of my boys in the eye with an aluminum softball bat. I just finished the softball game and went to the ER to relieve my wife. When another one tried to do a flip off the edge of the pool and slipped. I did not freak out at the sight of all the blood. I took him to the ER and he got staples. I took the staples out a few weeks later and the incident seem to actually make him smarter. He is almost careful around the pool. Ok, not really but it seems that way. When one of them stepped on a sea anemone at the ocean and had several dozen little barbs stuck in his foot, I didn't panic. I took him to the ER and had them removed and bandaged up. Oh wait, that happened to me. But still, I didn't panic!(much) I can't even count the number of fingers smashed in car, van or bedroom doors. Well, really there aren't that many. I guess if I break it all down we haven't had many ER runs especially when you consider how many kids we have. None of our kids have ever had a broken bone. None of our kids have ever been in a cast. We have been pretty lucky (knock on wood) and I, for one, am very grateful.

Message from Ben Stein

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish.  And it
does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit
up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel
discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I
don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto.
In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters
celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that
there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach
house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is
the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think
Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people
who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period.
I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly
atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like
it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we
should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as
we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too.  But
there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from
and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is
a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny,
it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane
Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?'(regarding
Katrina)Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response.
She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but
for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out
of our government and to get out of our lives.  And being the gentleman He
is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us
His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I
think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body
found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we
said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The
Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor
as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they
misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we
might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said
an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why
they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill
strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it
out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the
world's going to hell.  Funny how we believe what the newspapers say,
but question what the Bible says.  Funny how you can send 'jokes' through
e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending
messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.  Funny how lewd,
crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but
public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Are you laughing?

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than
what God thinks of us.



Honestly and respectfully,
Ben Stein

Car Buying

Ok, this isn't your normal child rearing subject but I figure that some of you may appreciate some advice on this. I will not tell you the whole car buying process but will give you a couple key points. 1) obviously... do your homework. Know the car you want and why. Find out the price online before you buy it. I like www.edmunds.com personally but there are many sites that will give you the true cost on the car.
2) Get your financing from your credit union before you even set one foot in a dealership. If you don't... You are crazy and probably going to get a worse deal. The credit union will give you a draft for the amount you need. The only reason not to use the credit union would be if the Manufacturer is offering 0% or seriously low interest rates. Check with the credit union to see if they can match it or show you where the catches are. There are usually catches... The favorite is having to chose between a huge rebate and the 0% financing. If you must choose... Take the rebate and finance the balance with the credit union. Another trick is an additional $500 - $1000 rebate to finance through the manufacturer's finance division (ie FMCC or GMAC). Do it and then refinance within 90 days with the credit union.
3) Never, NEVER trade in your old vehicle. Do not buy a new vehicle until your old vehicle is sold.
4) Chose your dealership and salesperson... They will get you the car you want. Do not surf the web looking for your new car and definitely do not drive from lot to lot. That is a very stupid and dangerous practice. If you feel the need to lot shop... Do it when the dealership is closed!!!
This will help minimize the "impulse buy".
5)If you want a warranty, credit life, disability insurance, maintenance program etc... buy it from the Credit Union. NEVER FROM THE DEALER!!!
6) Negotiating is the easy part. Know your price and don't budge. Not a penny. If you know the price before you go get your car... What could possibly chance from home to the dealership? PROFIT! That is it. Anything you pay over the price that you researched is simply profit for the dealer. Not the salesman, not the manufacturer, only the dealer and dealership management.
7) Ask about referral fees. Yes all dealers pay for referrals. Who referred you? Does that $100 go to a friend, family member, coworker or my favorite your church or school? It should. The dealer budgets for it and writes it off anyway. So ask for it, get it and pass it on to others. These are also called "bird dogs"

Child rearing as easy as 1 2 3

Did you know that there are three keys to raising happy, well behaved and well balanced children? Here is my theory: 1) Activity 2) Discipline 3) Affection. I put affection last because it is usually what we have the least trouble with. It is pretty easy to show love and attention to our children but the first two take a commitment to daily consistency. Activity, I know that is pretty generic but I did that on purpose. Not everyone is athletic so I did not want people to think, that I think, that you have to play sports with your children. Sports are nice but there is so much more out there. Exercise with your spouse and children. You will feel great and get to push each other to become better, healthier and happier. There have been volumes written about physical activity and its benefits so I will not ramble anymore on that. Discipline is a toughy. No one wants to do it but everyone is better off because of it. Children thrive in a consistent orderly environment. Chaos breeds more chaos. I break it down to the basics. I only spank for three things in our house: Lying, disobedience and disrespect. (it pretty much covers everything) My children know the rules. More importantly they know why the rules are so important and this stuff really works. My Dad used to tell me to praise in public and punish in private. Well, that is good but correcting your children in public can be an excellent witness and example to those who have no clue... And there are a ton of those folks out there. Remember, discipline is a service we owe to our children as we are caretakers of them. They are God's children. We must be good stewards. Plus it makes our life easier in the long run. Yes we sit in the front row at church. Our kids behave there "Or Else" and people are always amazed. How can we get toddlers to behave for an hour at Mass? It takes practice and help. A little sacramental grace doesn't hurt either. It is great to have help. We pass the baby (now 2) back to elderly couples behind us nearly every week. They love holding her and she enjoys the attention of someone different. Listen, I know that none of us enjoy spanking our kids. I hate it and sometimes I am just tired of being the heavy but someone has to do it. The bad news is: If we don't correct our kids now... Society will have to do it later and Society isn't nice or loving about it. Plus, society does a really crummy job. As a matter of fact, society will screw up just about everything we are supposed to do but are to lazy or fearful to do ourselves. I'm no libertarian but I know our government is the least effective and efficient at nearly everything it does. I definitely don't want Uncle Sam trying to straighten out a problem I could have solved with a little persistence and focus 20 years earlier. Do it. Love your kids. Raise your kids. Play with them. Spend time with them and they will love you for all if it later. Resent your kids and how they cramp your style and they will mirror that later too. They really do learn a lot from us whether we pay attention to what we are teaching or not. They catch a lot. Good Luck.

Potty Training Answer - Toothfxr

Hello Steve, We miss you too. We might not be good golfers but I don't think anyone else enjoyed bad golf as much as us. On to your question - "Any thoughts on potty training an almost 4 year old boy who is either lazy or feels dad will always be there to clean up after him?"
Ok, I have a couple of ways to handle potty training. First there is the traditional way with much yelling, beatings and frustration and it usually yields dismal results and big time messes. Both literally and emotionally. If you have a strong desire to be in therapy and send your 4 year old off to great start in life... go this route. Second there is the positive reinforcement route. Some of our boys have responded well to this. Go to the store and buy one of those 20 packs of little matchbox cars and reward the dirty deed. We only gave cars for #2 and maybe jelly beans for #1. The third method which is difficult to commit to and usually takes time, patience and close-pins is the "wait and let it happen" plan. Believe it or not, this is the way our #5, #6 and #7 boys have made the conversion from Diapers to "Big Boy Underwear" This last way seems to be the best route so far. You still have to remind them to go sit on the pot and try to go. Also, you reward them with letting them pick out their new BVDs. Sponge Bob is one of my favorites but it gets frustrating when I have to go to the boys' room to find my drawers. I hope this helps. Oh yea and for anyone that is wondering... Potty training boys is no picknic but if you let them pee outdoors... it makes picknics easier and speeds up the potty training.

Europe for Teens

When I was 15 I had the wonderful opportunity to spend a summer in Europe. It was a great learning experience. Most people think that traveling to Europe is out of reach financially and wait until they are older to finally experience it but I suggest it is easier to do it early in life. If a teen works very hard during the year and saves their money it is possible to make the trip on a very tight budget. Before college, work, adult life in general is quite possibly the best time to make it happen. I suggest doing some serious planning first including but not limited to... interviewing people who have lived in Europe, checking on pricing for Eurail passes (get the 1st class one... it is well worth it in the long run), start writing letters to youth groups at parishes in the countries you would like to visit, get your passport and lastly get in shape. I stayed with youth groups in Ireland and Begium and it didn't cost me a penny. I bought a heavy duty backpack with an aluminum frame. I hiked a lot. Stayed with families in England, Ireland, Belgium, Austria and in a kibbutz in Israel. There are also youth hostels which I recommend only as a last resort. With the proper planning you should not have any trouble finding places to stay in "Covenant Christian Carismatic Communities"or church youth groups. Also, if you time it right, you may even be invited to join them as they usually have trips and camps during the summer months. I had the great pleasure of hiking across the Ardennes from France back to Brussels. We spent a week together, sleeping under the stars and trying to communicate with 4 different languages represented. It was awesome. One trick to remember... Travel at night on the train. This will save you from having to pay for a hotel room as you can sleep on the train. Plus, you have all day to check out the local area in the light! Europeans are very hospitable people. Be careful because you may come back fat. They will feed you and feed you and then feed you some more. You will have a great time and usually after a couple of months, you will be ready to return home with a newfound appreciation for the good ole' US of A. Rollerblades can be helpful in some cities, imposible in others. Rome is the 2nd most hilly city in the world after Mexico City (or so I've heard) and unless you are a great skater I'd suggest walking or taking the bus when there. I skated. It was great. The younger locals loved it. The older ones hated it. The hills nearly killed me but it sure was faster than walking.
My Favorite Cities:
1) Innsbruck Austria (Ski Stubai, even if you don't ski... You will never forget it)
2) Rome Italy (Hang out on the spanish steps by trevi fountain)
3) Capri Italy (take the tour of the "Blue Grotto")
4) Geneva Sui (take a bus to Bern "The Most Beautiful Place on Earth" tough to argue with)
5) Dubrovnik Croatia (Yugoslavia when I was there. What a beach!!!)

Blog Comments

Everyone likes to be recognized. When you speak to someone for the first time it is polite to use their name repeatedly. This helps you remember their name and builds raport. It makes them feel more comfortable talking with you and vice versa. I think the same applies to blogging. When you read someones blog it is polite to comment on it. Agree or disagree it is nice to get feedback and it is welcome. Ask questions when you don't understand their perspective or when you disagree. My Dad used to say, "Praise in public and punish in private" and I try to follow that advice. Pleople seem to think that I am confontational but I think I am just curious and inquisitive. I will ask a lot of questions when I do not understand someone or something. I was told in school that arguing is meant to unearth the truth... Not to win by proving the other person wrong. I agree. It is better to learn and know than to persuade. Please post comments. The more comments I get, the more likely I will want to respond. Share your thoughts, questions and concerns. It will make everything more interesting. Thanks, DD

Numbers, numbers and more numbers

Ok, here is my two cents worth on how many kids to have and why. Big touchy subject I know but read allong and maybe it won't be as bad as you think. I have friends and or relatives that have many variations on family size from no children (DINKS) to one child up to 10+. Here is what I think about those numbers.
The first child is the biggest culture shock. You go from being a happy couple to a crazy threesome. Sociologist say that triads don't work and I agree. It isn't fair for anyone, the husband, wife or the lonely child. I could make a bunch of observations on this but I think it is pretty obvious. Being an only child isn't all that it is cracked up to be and for you parents... If you screw up an only child it is tough to hide. There is no one to blame but you. You are the sole source of entertainment for that child and wow is that an exhausting task, especially when they are younger.
The second child lightens up the load a bit unless you have a boy and a girl. The picture perfect family eh? I don't think so. Having a boy and a girl is just like having 2 only children and it is a ton of work. Especially since they rarely have much in common for long. I grew up in that situation and it was no pic-nic for me or my parents.
The third is the toughest for you parents... You are finally outnumbered and it is really tricky. Now you have a triad just amonst the kids so someone is pretty much guaranteed to be left out. I do not recommend having 3 kids. The bright spot in having 3 is that you finally get to pair someone up. Somebody gets a playmate. What is the cure for 3? That is easy! Have a fourth. lol Seriously, I couldn't believe how much easier 4 was than 3, 2 or 1. Two diads. Wonderful! And just the math of it is so much easier. You pair two of them up. If they fight you switch up the pairs and if they still fight, you have another way to pair them up differently. A family of 6 fits into most vehicles easily. By the time you have the 4th the 1st one is old enough to help out with the new baby. It is wonderful. As hard as it was having 3 children I was pretty nervous about having the fourth. I couldn't believe it when things actually got easier! 4 became my magic number. Maybe that is why we have 8 now? I don't think so but still. It is a valid point if you think about it. After 4 it is all down hill from there until you get to 7. Once you hit 7 things get tricky again. Finding a vehicle to fit everyone becomes a challenge. Vacations are tougher because you outnumber beds in normal hotels and flying on airplanes can be frustrating. Oh well, it is all worth it in the end. Oh wait, I haven't made it to the end yet so that is still TBD. I have a lot more on numbers but this should give you a little bit to chew on for now. The floor is open to you for questions so please, fire away. DD

How I met my wife

Sorry Honey. I know you have heard this story hundreds of times but I love it and love to tell it.
In the summer between 5th and 6th grade my family went on vacation to Long Lake, Alpena MI. We would stay at a place called Bethel Village. It was a glorified lakeside campground with a dozen or so postage-stamp sized cabins. The cabins slept 2 uncomfortably but were usually packed with families ranging from one kid up to 10 kids. I loved it. There was one tennis court, one basketball hoop, shuffle board (what's the point?) tetherball (also pointless) and a sweet raft! We had canoes, a pontoon boat, two docks to fish off, a playground, firepit and more kids that I can count. It was perfect. I was out in a canoe fishing for walleye with my dad when I pointed to a girl on the beach. "Dad, see that girl in the pink bathing suit?" "Yes" he replied, "That is Dick Wrubles' daughter isn't it?" "Yes" I said, "Someday I am going to marry her." I said with total confidence and innocent faith. To which he replied, "That is great Mike, just don't tell your mother."
For years I didn't understand why he said that until it dawned on me. My mom was her 6th grade teacher that year. My mom really liked her too. If I would have let the cat out of the bag earlier to her it may have upset the harmony in the universe or at least in our little Christian school.
Mary and I dated off and on throughout high school. Never in 6th through 8th grade. I didn't exist back then. It took going to a big, all-boys, Catholic, sports "power-house of a high school to get me noticed. But, whatever, it worked. If you ask me we were more off than on in high school and if you ask her we were more on than off. I was too intense. Hmm, has anything changed?
Over a decade and 8 kids later, my dad and I were right. I did marry that girl and no I did not tell my mother. Dad was smart. I was patient and Mary finally had a weak moment and said yes.

Passion

I have spent a lot of time thinking about passion lately. I think passion gets a bad rap. It is so important to be passionate. Passion is contagious. I am passionate about a lot of things expecially faith, family and philosophy. Isn't it more fun to talk to someone about anything when they are passionate? When they care? What are you passionate about and why?
I get all excited when I get to talk about my children. I get even more excited when I talk about how my wife and I met and the direction of our relationship. It is easy to get passionate about the big things in life but what about the little things?
Passion: the emotions as distinguished from reason b : intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction c : an outbreak of anger.
So many of us live day to day as hampsters on the wheel. Why not savor the moments? Especially the ones at home. I like to sit back and watch the riot as it occurs around me in my house. This week my wife and children are out of state visiting family. I miss the activity. It is amazing watching the youngest of my children as the hustle around the house totally engrossed in whatever has caught their fancy. It is incredible how focused they can get on the simplest of tasks. Why not me? I am trying to dive into simple tasks with the same passion that they have. It is so much fun to get lost in the littlest activities.
I have an expression my friends know I use called "Zoo Mode" When I am out with my kids at the park, playground or anywhere else appropriate, I jump into "Zoo Mode" It is where I act just like them. It is so much fun and totally refreshing. I run around and play and it usually drives other parents crazy. TOUGH! Remember the point of being outside with your children is to enjoy what they want to do. Run, jump. roll around on the ground, swing on the swings, take the slide. It is awesome and your kids will remember it and love you for it. We always say, "I was a kid once too!" So here is your chance to prove it. Put the laptop away, turn off your cell phone and go for it. You may just burn some calories off while you are at it. Dads, play with your kids. They need it almost as much as you do. Play with passion, not to win. Dive into the role of being their playmate. Forget the mortgage, job and other responsibilities for a few minutes. We all know they aren't going anywhere but your kids are. They are going to grow up faster than you can imagine. Life races by if you aren't careful so embrace passion. It is awesome and will change your perception of nearly everything.

Camping and Roadtrips

Ok. First and foremost I must apologize for going a week without posting. I will try not to let it happen again. Now on to my latest random rant.

Camping and family road trips are a must for family communication and unity. Usually they are like exercise... Darn had to get motivated for but wow do you feel great afterward. We didn't do much camping as a family when I was growing up. We did, however, go on the most amazing road trips. I have awesome memories of feeding buffalo in Colorado, seeing a bear in Michigan, a moose in Maine and a bobcat in Florida (on a golf course of all places).
Many of the trips we took were with another family. Never the same family twice. Hmm, I wonder if that was intentional or just coincidence? I don't know, but I can tell you that we were much closer as a family and much closer to the families that we went on the trips with, after the trip concluded. Today, people tend to go on vacations to be entertained and set records for the amount of money spent. Why go into debt to take a vacation that finds you more tired when you return than when you left? Dumb but all to common. My dad was the master at coming home from work on Friday and announcing "Pack your bags, we're going on a road trip!" It was awesome. Most of our trips were pretty well planned out if my mom had anything to do with it but a few I remember were spontaneous.
I remember driving our conversion van out to Colorado. We went with another young family and stayed in a ski resort in the middle of the summer. It was very cheap and almost totally vacant. We had the pool to ourselves and were able to ride the chairlifts up the mountain for wonderful hikes. Let me tell you, it is much more enjoyable to hike when it is ALL downhill! Can you imagine taking a vacation without your cell phone, laptop, TV/DVDs, video games, MP3 players or anything else electronic? It is amazing to actually have someones undivided attention and at the same time, give them your undivided attention. For days on end! You really learn a lot about the people you are with.
Camping is an awesome art that has been perverted over the years. Sorry Coleman but you aren't helping. There is something really beautiful in roughing it. Hiking out into the middle of nowhere with your closest love ones helps everyone involved embrace honest vulnerability. When you strip away the makeup, fancy name-brand clothes and other creature comforts (read as distractions) of home you will find it it becomes wonderful fodder for openness. Try it. It is hard but oh so rewarding. Pitch a tent. Sleep wedged in between parents and siblings. Dig a fire pit. Find rocks to line it with. Scavenge for firewood. Start a fire without matches or a lighter. Look up at the stars. Breathe fresh night air. Bathe in a frigid river. When you return from a trip like that, you will have such a feeling of accomplishment.
I remember sleeping out in Pictured Rocks, Michigan in the U.P. with kids from my youth group in junior high school. I don't remember listening to the radio in the van on the way up there. Yes, the drive up felt like an eternity but it gave me several hours to talk with the other boys. How many kids today actually get to talk with their friends offline, without text messaging or the use of a cell phone? You learn to read peoples body language from looking at them! Imagine that! Try it with your kids. It is unbelievable.
I think I will write posts on each of my road trips starting when I first got my drivers license. Comment back if you think reading those stories would be interesting. Also, feel free to ask general questions and I will do my best to answer them (if I know the answer).

Location, Location & Location

I spent the first 10 years or so of my life in the country. For most people this would be a dream come true. We lived in a beautiful, white brick colonial house with 6 huge pilars in front. It was on an acre and 3/4 with an all-sports lake out back. The lake was stocked with large mouth bass. It was nearly picture perfect. Most of my "city-folk" cousins thought I had it made in the shade, and in some ways I did. My dad traded 10 acres further out in the country for the lake lot. Eventually he saved up enough to build a house and years later finnished the house by adding a 2 car garage. He was pretty frugal and smart. He and my mom worked hard to build their dream house and it was exactly that... A dream house.
10 years later that dream house became more of a burdon than a blessing. We wanted to move to Ann Arbor to be closer to church, school and friends. The market in the early 1980s was pretty bad. They had a lot of trouble selling the house.
I learned a lot from living in that house. I learned about the beauty of multi-generation families. I learned about the joys of pet ownership. I learned how to water ski, snow ski, ice skate and drive a snow mobile. I learned it takes 2 days and 2 people to mow an acre and 3/4. I also learned it is easier to mow a hill sideways rather than up and down. One of the most important things that I learned from living there is a realtor's favorite expression. Location, Location, Location. Why is that important? Well, I challenge you to think about the neighborhood you grew up in. Who were your friends and neighbors? What did you do for fun?
When I was 10 I moved to a "real" neighborhood. It wasn't a dream house at first. Eventually it was bigger and better than the lake house. Oh yea, and it took all of an hour to mow the lawn.
I believe that going to birthday parties after school is important. Playing little league sports is important. Having pride in your neighborhood, town, state and country is important and you shouldn't miss out on anyone of those four. I still remember the address and phone number out at our house on the lake. I have fond memories but I did wish that I lived in a traditional neighborhood. There is a huge difference.
There is a simple beauty in watching life as it happens around you: seeing people age, taking care of the elderly lady down the street (We called her Grandma West). We would shovel her driveway, mow her lawn, check in on her often and in return we were rewarded with hot cookies and a sense of community. Remember that? A sense of community? (I will talk more about that in future posts.) I have memories of watching families grow. Children leaving home for the service, college or to start their own families. The circle of life was always close to home with people passing on and others having babies or adopting and everyone in the neighborhood was involved. Some were pall bearers, others made meals for the families concerned and a couple of the families would share the use of their huge, flat yard to put up the big tent for someones wedding reception. I miss those days of the "old neighborhood" and darn-it-all I'm bringing it back!

Background 1 "The Beginning"

My Mom is the oldest of 9 children and my Dad was the youngest of 11. I grew up with a sister who is 5 years younger than me. I can remember growing up and listening to my Aunts and Uncles tell stories about what it was like when they grew up. They had 100s of stories. Amazing stories that kept my ear for hours.
Dad was a pipefiter in the union in Detroit. Mom was a student at the University of Michigan and worked full time. My Great-grandma, Grandpa and Grandma lived in the same house with us out in the country. My dad, with the help of his brothers, built a beautiful house on a lake that we moved into when I was 1. My grandpa and grandma didn't have any retirement so they moved in with us. I spent a lot of time with them and learned quite a bit about life. Raising 11 children while working at a service station was pretty tough, but very rewarding.
Since my grandparents lived with us, and our house was on a lake, every summer most of my cousins would come out to visit. Family reunions were a riot! I looked forward to every party, holiday, wedding... you name it. One particular 4th of July, I snuck out of bed and had my head in the banister. I was listening to all of my aunts and uncles reminiscing about growing up in Centerline, Mi. My dad caught me and asked me why I wasn't in bed. I angrily replied, "Dad, I don't have any stories!" He didn't get it. I was upset that I lived in the country, had only one sibling and my best friend was my dog. Boring!
It was then that I started planning my future. I wanted to get married, live in a neighborhood, have a large family and not have material posesions rule my life. By material posesions I don't just mean "stuff" like cars, boats, toys and tools but also titles and degrees. Over the years I would add to the list of things that were important and I saw a pattern immerging. All of the things that I considered significant involved people and relationships. "It is not what you are doing, where your are doing it or even how you are doing it that matters. What really matters the most is WHO you are doing it with and WHY!"
...to be continued

Why I chose to start this blog

I regularly get asked about child rearing, family size, economics and a multitude of other questions. Rather than repeating myself I thought it would be interesting to start posting some of my opinions on here. Please remember that these are opinions and may not make sense to you. Take me with a grain of salt. I hope to be entertaining, inspiring and informative. If I make you rethink your life and your surroundings, Great! This is very new to me so please be patient and forgiving. Sincerely, DD